older.

i found this on my myspace (rip) page.  it’s funny when you read something from almost 3 years ago and it feels like you are watching a tv show of someone else’s life. i don’t remember how i felt after travelling so much. but i remember how i feel now after travelling so much. so i sympathize with myself. i also remember being in the waiting room, but i don’t remember the bowl lady. or limpy. or mr. broken arm. i do remember the mom with the cell phone and the embarrassed daughter. she was a real piece of work. i remember the doctor giving me free meds. but that’s it.

write every day down, guys. write it all down. because it leaves and then it’s gone.

it also should be noted that i now have insurance. but i still don’t go to the doctor.

the post:

I have nine (09) consecutive days at home. This is a rare thing these days, and one I am extremely grateful for. I love my home. It’s so comfortable, peaceful, and quiet. Things i love most about my home: 1. Jacquelyn 2. Bed…

It was so nice to sleep in my own bed last night, I can’t even begin to tell you. I didn’t realize how tired I was until my head touched my pillow. Things I miss the most while travelling: 1. Jacquelyn 2. Bed.

I’ve been really worn out. I’ve been sick since 21 July. Every time I thought I was getting better I’d get on another airplane and I would get sick all over again. I’d start coughing. I’d start getting congested. Fever. Sore throat. Cold. A little scared…

So, I went to the doctor on Tuesday. He agreed that I was sick and gave me some free samples of an antibiotic. I was thankful for the samples since the appointment cost $140.00. No insurance.

Not having insurance has never really been a problem for me. I never go to the doctor. Never. I’ve always just sort of never thought I was sick enough to warrant going. Doctor’s offices are for really sick people. Like the lady that sat across from me holding a big blue plastic bowl in her lap, which I assume was for vomiting into if she felt so inclined. There was the smallish construction worker gentleman w/ the broken arm. It looked broken anyway. The lady that walked in limping and grimacing w/ every step she took. Or the poor embarrassed school girl who was brought in by her busy body mother w/ a cell phone glued to her ear calling another doctor while filling out the paperwork hoping to get in quicker somewhere else…

I love the questionnaire you have to fill out. they ask you for your symptoms by having you circle one or more of the symptoms listed. I felt like such a wimp. I had a cold. i don’t think that was even an option. It was stuff like: vomiting blood while sweating out of your eyeballs, or knife wound from grizzly bear attack. doctors offices are for really sick people.

It took me a while to fill out all of the paper work. So long, in fact, that 3 people that came in after me were taken before me. They were really sick though… the blue bowl carrying vomiting lady, the limper, the guy w/ the broken arm. Not the school girl. Her mom was a real piece of work.

The next morning I woke up feeling way better. I understand now why really sick people and people like me go to doctors. They give you stuff that makes you feel better. I probably won’t go back anytime soon though. doctor’s offices are for really sick people.

So today I woke up feeling even better than I did yesterday. Well enough to want to go out and drive around. Well enough to return phone calls…

I know I haven’t returned many phone calls lately. I am really bad about that. I apologize for that. Sometimes the thought of getting on the phone makes me sick. I love talking on the phone, but it needs to be on my own terms. If somebody tells me to call them back it just seems like a job. If i wanted a job… i’d… go get a job. A job that didn’t require calling people back.

I have started returning phone calls today. So far I have returned two (02) calls.

august 30, 2007

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